What we wish to attract and what we end up attracting do not always align. Why is this? In my case at least, it comes down to a perpetual conflict between lofty subconscious ideals and grounded, conscious desires.
My grounded self, fully immersed in this 3rd density world, is far too aware of the limitations of the avatar I occupy. Familiar with the creature comforts I crave, it constantly wishes for entertaining, pleasurable experiences that are occasionally stimulating but ultimately free of drama or obstacle.
My higher subconscious is, in contrast, way more ambitious and, being connected to the part of me that exists outside the field of linear time, knows what I am truly capable of and what I need to grow as a soul. It tends to invite people into my life who challenge me, and situations that motivate me to venture out of the comfort zones I habitually gravitate toward.
Jen, the protagonist of Twilight Lady, a series of graphic novels I wrote a few years back, is a character whose inner conflict mirrors what I have described. Jen just wants to be a good musician and connect with like-minded folk who enjoy the kind of songs she loves to perform. But little does she know the type of souls who want to meet her are often those harboring a grievance… and with it, a desire for vengeance which they seek to fulfill with her help. Jen does not remember who she truly is – an ancient, powerful being. A warrior and balancer. The justice-bringer known only as the Nameless Lady in the Hood.
